Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
