Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
