she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
this just has baby written all over it
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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