So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
