Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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