You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
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margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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