I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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