well you can't waste a boner
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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