Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
