For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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