Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
