how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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