i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Vodka?
Forever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
