hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
is it fun? or sober?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
