i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
