I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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