my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
