its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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