I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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