I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
