That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
