I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
