I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
