remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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