I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
