Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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