Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
