id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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