More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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