Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
