No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think people are normalizing furries
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
