Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My breasts were aching with rage.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
