I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
