Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
