i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish I only lived at night.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
