you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm sobbing to NWA
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
