I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he fucked my hip out of place.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
