I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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