A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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