and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
