My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
