i just wanna soil my oats bro
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
