There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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