Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
