That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize