just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
