i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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