I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
