There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
