Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
honey bunches of taint.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
