mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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