oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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