You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
