I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
