butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My breasts were aching with rage.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
