We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
