Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
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NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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