you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
