Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize