Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
