He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
