Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
