Sponge bath it is.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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