I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off