since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.