I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.