Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
